Ahem, sorry about that. Anyway, as you can probably tell from that reaction, I was not best pleased by this PPV. In fact, I might have to say it was the worst PPV I’ve seen in ages. Admittedly, the card was not great to begin with, but they could have at least tried.
So, let’s just get this review over with shall we? Sigh…
For a list of matches and results (including the Pre-show matches which will not be covered), see HERE.
Kicking things off was Seth Rollins versus The Miz for the Intercontinental title. This match was nothing short of incredible, with Rollins proving once again why he deserves to be champion. Miz also performed to his best today. Both hit great move after great move and both had some great counters to each other. A damaged knee earlier in the match made it look like Mix would steal it, but Rollins fought against the pain and won with a Blackout. This was a great opener and hinted that we were in for a great show.
How wrong we were!
Nia Jax defeated Alexa Bliss in a ho-hum match that lasted longer than it should have done. Afterwards, Jax did what was supposed to be an inspiring speech, that just felt more like a SJW diatribe. A great wrestler Nia is, but on the mic – Dwayne Johnson she is not!
The middle of the event, we were treated to an Elias performance, possibly one of the best mic workers in WWE, he just knows how to get the crowd riled up. The performance turned into an interruption by The New Day, then Rusev Day, then No Way Hose (hey, that rhymes!) with Titus World Wide (Titus luckily managed to keep upright this time!) and Breezango. And just when it looked when Elias would be able to do his performance, Boddy Roode gave him a Glorious DDT and danced off with the conga line. It was utterly silly – but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it!
Jeff Hardy and Randy Orton have been known for having some classic matches – their battle on Raw many years ago when Hardy did a huge Swanton Bomb from the Titantron. This, sadly, was not one of them. It wasn’t terrible, just not exciting, and it further proves WWE has no idea what to do with Orton now.
Can someone tell me how WWE thought throwing Big Cass into a match with Daniel Bryan (which had a flimsy motivation at best) was a good idea? Well, despite some savage beatdowns, Cass just doesn’t really feel over with the fans at all. Some were even chanting “We want Enzo” during the match – and you KNOW things are bad when people would rather see him than you! Bryan was great, but the two just didn’t click and the match had a sloppy finish. Not good.
But hey, at least it wasn’t as bad as Carmella versus Charlotte. Any matches with Carmella should come with ear plugs – as her high-pitched shrieks did more damage that her moves did. Is Charlotte being punished or something? This is the woman who beat Asuka’s streak, but then lost the title soon afterwards. And this just made her look like a fool – bad form! I don’t mind wrestlers losing once in a while – but after such a huge push at Wrestlemania, you think she’d have bigger things ahead for her.
AJ Styles versus Shinsuke Nakamura for the third time. This time in a no DQ match. This was finally the dream match we were promised and it was everything Wrestlemania should have been – had it not been for the bull**** ending!
No joke, this actually was a way better match than their Wrestlemania encounter in my opinion. It had edge and brutality – especially when AJ countered Nakamura’s Kinshasa with a chair shot that bounded back to him and busted him open. But a double low-blow to each other meant that they couldn’t meet the ten count from a referee and it ended as a no contest.
I’m sorry, what?
This was a no DQ match, right? Surely that include ten counts?
What. The. ****ing. Hell?!? Either give us a proper result or don’t give us a match at all, WWE! Stopping copping out on us!
The tag team match between Braun Strowman and Bobby Lashley (who hasn’t had a singles match since he came back FYI) again Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens wasn’t much better. Yeah, Braun Strowman ran roughshot over the two and it showed seeds of breakup between the Canadians – but otherwise the match was a wet fart. Even Braun Strowman’s multiple powerslams couldn’t save it. Poor Strowman, even after winning the Greatest Royal Rumble WWE don’t want to push him beyond just a powerslam. He’s worth way more than that!
As for the main event between Samoa Joe and Roman Reigns – well despite a brutal beatdown before the bell sounded, the match itself was just dull, dull, DULL! Fans were bored stiff, even chanting “Rusev Day”, “Delete” and “Johnny Wrestling” among other things. Frankly, the only applause this match got was when Reigns hit the spear to end the match – but fans quickly piled out the arena afterwards! And so ends one of the worst PPV’s I’ve seen in a while.
Man, this event sucked! Aside from a brilliant opener, every single match had little to no effort behind it. Most of the results were either cop outs or just sloppily put together. The AJ Styles/Shinsuke Nakamura bout had a chance to end on a high note, but the ending just angered me beyond belief! And don’t even get me started on the car crash that was the main event.
The only reason I’m not giving this event 0 stars is that the Intercontinental match was brilliant, and the Elias segment was very funny. But aside from that, this PPV was crap and I’ll never get those three and a half hours back.
You know when The Last Jedi came out and fans started a petition to get it removed from canon? I’m thinking of doing the same with this event!
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