But why is it that these guys make such terrible films? Well as it’s 1st April (not sure why that day is so significant but it is) I’m here to tell you guys why that is! Here are the Top 5 Reasons Why Disney Sucks!
What do you mean it’s because he damaged his throat? All lies!
The songs here do nothing to enhance the stories and all it sets to do it make your ears bleed. Utter tripe! These composers and song writers need to learn what REAL music is. If you want an example of how to do good music, then listen to the hearfelt ballad Pen Pineapple Apple Pen… that tune is so emotional it hits me in the feels every time. The songs in Disney films just make me want to vomit blood! If you don’t want to risk tinnitus for the rest of your life, stay away from Disney!
Sexism... towards men!
I mean, take for example Prince Philip! He has to fight a bloody dragon just because Aurora is too lazy to do anything about it. Prince Charming has to search all over the bloody country just because Cinderella couldn’t be arsed to tell him who she really was. Oh, but it gets worse! Later on, Flynn Rider is FORCED to help Rapunzel find out about the lanterns, when all he wanted to do was steal a crown. And the most heinous example is Hans in Frozen. All he wanted to do was overthrow a corrupt Queen and HE’S made the bad guy? Seriously, Disney, why do you hate men so much?
In short, the men in Disney have to do ALL the work whilst the women sit back and enjoy the spoils. Totally unrealistic! So much for equal rights!
The stories are all ripped off
Remember Beauty and the Beast? Well turns out that there was ANOTHER story called Beauty and the Beast that came out a few hundred years ago that had exactly the same story. Disney couldn’t even be bothered to changed the title! Oh, but there’s more! The Little Mermaid, Pocahontas, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Sleeping Beauty – all of these were stories that Disney just ripped off and passed of as their own. They didn’t even have the common decency to credit them! For shame, Disney! For shame!
Well, when you have a company as unoriginal as Disney, can you blame them for ripping off other ideas? I mean, can these guys EVERY write a story as creative or Oscar worthy as Bridemic: Shock and Terror? I don’t think so!
It’s not 50 Shades of Grey
Don’t bother with Disney, stick to reading 50 Shades… trust me, it’s far better… written than any… Disney…
NO! NO! NO! I can’t do it! Even jokingly I CANNOT say that 50 Shades of Grey is a good novel – let alone better than Disney! JOKE OVER!!!
Yes, yes, you can stop worrying now – it was all an April Fools joke! Everyone knows that Disney is awesome and they have made some incredible stories over the years. Ok, so they aren’t all perfect, but who is! Please disregard everything you have just read!
Anyways, thanks for getting to the end of this blog without losing your temper (I hope!) Enjoy the rest of your day and happy April Fools Day!
Oh, but for the record, Pen Pineapple Apple Pen IS a fantastic song!
But 50 Shades of Grey f***ing sucks!